Calm down dear, it’s only a parking space…..

Shopping with babies and toddlers is torturous on a good day and although I ordinarily opt for online shopping, trips to the supermarket are inevitable when like me, you are a bit forgetful because let’s face it you survive on less sleep than a prisoner of war and are being solidly and consistently hen-pecked for 12 hours a day by irritating mini versions of yourself.

Parent and child bays are designed with additional space around them so parents are able to unload their shopping more easily and so that they have plenty of room to grapple with car seats and the unloading and loading of their own small (and usually uncooperative) people.  If you’ve never done a solo shopping trip with one or more small children then count yourself lucky but believe me it is a whole new level of hell that is made a whole host better if you bag one of the hot-property Parent/Child spots.

I often see people casually using these spaces without the obligatory small child in tow and it really, really pushes my buttons. If I’ve not bagged one of the spaces then you will see I am carrying a handbag plus a one year old (who is either trying to jump down into the traffic for fun or is pulling my hair, poking me in the eye or his current favourite – biting my cheek). Add to this a stroppy, uncooperative threenager who *almost* fell asleep in the car and is now akin to the devil incarnate and she doesn’t give two shits about oncoming cars. It’s not fun. And this is BEFORE the shopping trip. With a trolley full of groceries and a couple of tear stained sobbing children from the tantrums it is even more shit. Which brings me to my point.  Just in case you aren’t clear, here are 10 Very Good Reasons NOT to use a Parent/Child Parking Bay:

  1. Because you have a child, but they’re not with you (you should know better)
  2. Because you have a 12 year old child and they are with you 
  3. Because you’re disabled (you have your own and quite frankly I wouldn’t dream of parking in yours)
  4. Because you’re really old 
  5. Because you’re really hungover
  6. Because you are just ‘popping in quickly’ 
  7. Because there were loads of them free when you arrived
  8. Because it’s ‘just this once’
  9. Because you drive a really massive, expensive car that’s tricky to park
  10. Because you are an utter bell-end and you just don’t give a toss

And here is ONE good reason to park in a parent/child space:

  1. Because you have one or more small children/babies in tow and YOU NEED THE EXTRA BLOODY SPACE. 

Really f*cking simple isn’t it?!?



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