As soon as you become a Mum tiredness takes on a whole new meaning. You realise you never actually knew the meaning of the word B.C (before children).
My fuse is shorter than it was B.C and there are many ‘generic/harmless’ things people say innocently which make me want to punch them in the kisser. (Nb – I am categorically NOT violent and have NEVER punched anyone in the kisser, nor have I ever used the word ‘kisser’ as a noun for that matter)
So here is a (non-exhaustive) list of things people say that make them instantly punchable to me:
1). ‘They’ll sleep when they’re one/two/three/twenty-four’ (oh please, shut the f*ck up)
2). ‘We were SOOOOO late because Tarquin slept in’ (f*ck you!)
3). ‘Horatio is getting up really, really early every morning – 6.30’ (are you actually kidding?)
4). ‘Did I tell you Quintus is doing backflips whilst reciting the alphabet? He is soooooo advanced’ (YAWN…..get a life Quintus & watch some ‘Ben & Holly’)
5). ‘Enjoy every second while they’re so little. They grow up so fast. Mine are 19 & 25 now blah blah blah’.
ENJOY?!?!? Right now I’m in Tesco, trying to wrestle with my three year old in a way that is ‘public’ appropriate to stop her aggressively getting all up in her baby brother’s grill, simultaneously forgetting everything I needed to buy, but still managing to spend a small fortune with an end result of still having NOTHING to make a full meal from.